Forgiving Others

If there is one thing that is common to the human experience, it is being hurt by others. As much as we wish it were not so, people hurt other people. That’s why the topic of forgiveness is such a practical issue for us—we all must make decisions about how, when, and if we forgive.

Because we’re made in the image of God, there’s something inside each one of us that longs for the wrong to be made right when we’ve been hurt. But because we’re sinful, our way of righting wrongs is often damaged and broken. Our remedy involves lashing out, icing out, or walking out. But God’s way involves forgiveness. Forgiveness is the vehicle God has chosen to facilitate healing in our hearts when our hearts have been wounded by others.

Forgiving another person is one of the most authentic markers of faith you will ever display in your life.

That’s because forgiving is so contrary to our natural bent. It takes faith to believe that when God commands us to forgive, he is asking something of us that will genuinely benefit us. Forgiveness is an act of faith. When God witnesses this kind of faith in you, he is pleased, and he wants to reward you with blessing (Hebrews 11:6).

Perhaps you’ve believed that God commands us to forgive because he is a gracious God. In his graciousness, God is looking out for the offender and wants you to extend forgiving grace in the same way he extends it to you. That’s definitely true, but forgiveness is not done just for the sake of the offender. Forgiveness is commanded for the victim because it is the victim who receives the most benefit.

One of the things the Bible shows us about God is that he is alert to those who are in pain. He always hears and cares about the cries of his people when they’ve been oppressed or suffered injustice. God is a strong defender of victims, and that includes you and me when we have been wronged. God’s remedy of forgiveness is pointed primarily towards his hurting child.

If you trust that God collects every tear and records every sorrow (Psalm 56:8), can you also trust that his path towards healing that pain is in asking you to forgive?

Sometimes we hold on to anger, bitterness, or pain because we think these things will protect us. They give us a false sense of power. We invest energy in maintaining these heavy burdens because we believe that if we lay them down, we will be vulnerable again. When we do this, we are believing a lie and turning away from our true Defender.

So, what is God really asking of us when he tells us to forgive those who have harmed us? It’s important to understand that forgiveness is not reconciliation, nor is it restitution. Forgiveness does not necessarily remove logical consequences of bad behavior, nor does it deny or negate the wound that was inflicted.

Rather, forgiveness is a conscious act that occurs in the heart of the one who has been wronged. Forgiveness is the choice to release the “right” to hold something over the offender. Forgiving is choosing to humanize the one who hurt you rather than demonize him or her.

Jesus saw the ugly brokenness of people and it stirred within him great compassion for our humanity. It’s what compelled him to move toward us, to come to be with us. We are united to every other person—including those who have wounded us—by our humanity. We all experience need because we’re human—the need for grace, the need for understanding, the need for redemption. Every one of us needs Jesus.

When we choose to forgive another person, it is an act of faith declaring our understanding of this truth—that we ALL need Jesus.

In asking us to forgive, God is asking for our agreement to see people the way he sees people. Agreeing with God opens the door for his blessings to come into our lives. What do those blessings look like? Peace. The ability to move on in a healthy way. A proper perspective. Deeper trust. Freedom.

The blessings that come into our lives as a result of forgiving others are reason enough to obey, but there is another compelling reason, and that’s the impact that we can have on others when we forgive.

The fact that you are participating in Disciple Path indicates that you desire to influence others to follow Jesus. Every person walking this earth gets hurt by others and needs to figure out how to deal with that hurt. You have a powerful testimony to the power of Jesus in your life when you have walked the road of forgiveness and experienced the goodness and healing of God through it. It’s mysterious and often impossible to explain how God works, but there is always evidence when he does. It shows up as hope, and healing, and even as joy. When God works those things in your life through forgiveness, you have a beautiful opportunity to showcase his work in your heart and in your life. You can shine his light. It’s just one more blessing that comes from forgiveness.

Action Step

Listen to a podcast on forgiveness by pastor Tim Mackie, co-founder of The Bible Project.

You can also find the link for this podcast in the resources section of Disciple Path online at providencechurch.net/disciplepathchapters. The title of the podcast is “Exploring My Strange Bible—Forgiveness: Gospel of Matthew Part 26.”

Daily Scripture

Read the daily Scripture passage and journal your responses.

Luke 21 | Luke 22 | Luke 23 | Luke 24 | Acts 1-2

What to do when you meet
with your group:

Begin with a short prayer.

Ask God to open your eyes to his perspective on things. Take turns each week.

Questions.

Begin by discussing how you are loving others.

What opportunities has God given you to love other people through serving, speaking truth in love, or pointing them towards Christ since we last met? How did you respond?

Talk about what God has been stirring in you through your time in the Word.

Share about one of your quiet times in the Bible.

Practice mutual confession.

Questions about section 2.

Is there someone in your life that God has placed in your thoughts that you need to forgive?

Has your obedience in forgiving someone ever been a visible testimony to God’s work in your life?

End your time by praying for each other.

Pray for God’s healing and restoration in all your relationships. Pray for humble hearts attuned to Spirit’s nudges and conviction.